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Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Sad - Sorrow - Despair

Haiz... Everytime got this feeling after exam... No matter how I prepare for the exam, the outcome is still the same. I think that I had studied quite a lot this time for my mid-sem exam, but I still did not perform well during my exam. Sigh~*

Sad because I didn't get what I had paid for. Now only I realised that study hard isn't a good way to deal with the examination in university. Or perhaps I didn't study well? =P Anyway, I'm very disappointed in myself. How can I forgot the things that I have studied??? I also don't know why my memory is so poor... This makes me feel so lack of confidence... Yup... To me, memory is a vital element in study. Having a good memory means you have gained an advantage in study. Memory can be used in memorising formulas, history, important notes and so on. In contrast, no memory means we have to use extra time to memorise anything. And that also cannot confirm that we can remember things even in the exam hall. We may forget what we have learned due to stress, panick and many other factors. The other important element we need in study is -- understanding. Feel so sad again to say this. Frankly speaking, my understanding is also not so good. I really think that I have problems in studying. Who can help me? I feel so helpless all the time... Why other people can perform well but I can't???

I'm extremely desperate of my studies. I really hope that God can help me in my studies. I pray for wisdom, understanding, strong memory and good thinking skills. Hope the Lord our God can listen to my prayer. Last but not least, health is also important. Hopefully me and my family will be happy and healthy always.

Gotta think of some ways to overcome my weakness. Trying to think some proper ways to study efficiently. Hopefully I can success one day. I just want my parents to be proud of me. That's my greatest hope. Sometimes, I think that education is the most important thing in my whole life. But I did not take any initiative to achieve my hope. I hate myself in this way. Haiz... Feel sad if I have studied but still did not perform well in exam. Feel angry if I did not study and did not perform well in my exam. I really don't know what to do... Everytime I hand myself to my God. Let God decide my future. But I have to put in some effort too.

Let's wait for the final exam... Will be looking forward to it. Hopefully it's not a tragedy. Amen.
 

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